Imagine it’s time to buy a new car. You have a brand in mind, so you take a trip to the local dealer during a non-peak time. You peruse the showroom floor for a while, picking out the first car to test drive. When you are ready, you spot a group of salespeople idly lounging around the water cooler and chatting about the weekend’s plans. You approach. No one looks your way. Hoping to get their attention, you say, “Hi!”

And. No one bats an eye. No response. No “Hi.” back. No one looks in your direction. The group carries on. 🥺

Imagine how you would feel. Now, imagine your opinion of that dealership. What are the chances you would ever shop there again? (My answer: less than 0%.)

This story is an unlikely scenario, but things like this happen virtually all the time. New members might post during a webinar in the Zoom chat, comment on an article or social media post, or ask a question in an online community. And it is very possible that without a concerted effort, no one responds. While perhaps not as mortifying as the fictitious example above, it still doesn’t feel great. It feels like anti-belonging.

Evan Hamilton, creator of the Community Manager Breakfast (an awesome curated newsletter about all things community. You should read it), and I got to talking about community culture, community onboarding, and this issue. He said, “There are things people would never do in person, but they do them online.” When a new member posts their first comment, for example, and no one replies, there’s a bit of a sting.

Evan went on to point me in the direction of research done by Richard Millington. Richard found that if a first-time online community poster doesn’t get a response within 18 hours, the chance of them posting again is slim.

I’ve long been saying that new member onboarding has to start within three days of the member joining. The earlier, the better. Most onboarding programs focus on the content provided to the new member. Typically, most of the focus is on reaching out to new members. But what happens when the new member decides to take that tentative next step and reach back?

They raise their hand, submit a comment, ask a question, or chime in with an idea. All the while, they are wondering, “Will my thoughts be appreciated?” “Do these folks think like me?” “Do I belong here?”

The sooner someone responds to them, the better the chance they’ll answer those questions positively.

So, think about all the places where new members might reach out for the first time. And think about how to catch and celebrate their first contribution and say, “We are so glad you are here!” and “What an interesting idea.” or, “You are in the right place. Many others are thinking the same thing.”