Do you remember what it was like driving for the first time on a highway? I recollect being a little wobbly. I’d oversteer toward the double yellow line and then course correct, toward the white line on the right and back-and-forth and back and forth. Of course, it wasn’t long before I barely even thought about the mechanics of driving.

Most of the time, our brains are on autopilot. We drive, eat, walk, and make zillions of other automatic decisions without thinking too deeply about them. Our brains do this to reduce cognitive load. (Want to dive down the rabbit hole of brain science? Start with heuristics, cognitive load, and maybe a dash of cognitive bias.)

Over time, specific patterns and responses get embedded into our brains—decision shortcuts, if you will. For example, when we sense someone trying to sell us something, our “no thank you” might get automatically queued up on the tip of our tongues. Or when we see the long list of emails accumulating in our inboxes, our clicker finger starts itching to delete them. When someone asks, “Any questions?” a feeling of mild panic might appear for no discernable reason.

Everyone’s brains have thousands of decisions already decided and ready to go at a moment’s notice. Unfortunately, many of these neural pathways forged over time shield people from engaging. If you’ve wondered why engagement can be so tricky, it doesn’t come naturally for most adults. We, the engagers, must overcome decades-long pattern responses in people’s brains.

It is easier for people to:

• say “no” than “yes.”

• speed by rather than stop and pause.

• stay quiet rather than ask a question, share their idea, or step forward.

Logic alone isn’t enough to override these pre-decided decisions. We need to activate people’s minds and hearts for engagement.

Most organizations have the logic side down pat and can communicate benefits, features, and all the whys you should buy. Every time we appeal to people’s minds with logic, we can also appeal to people’s hearts with experiences.

• Tell a story or anecdote, or connect with how they feel.

• Add a dash of fun, warmth, joy, or [add your word here.]

• Focus on making those first impressions great.

• Be proactive and reactive.

• Invite connection.

Every time we communicate with logic, we also create experiences. Make sure that these experiences are great!