Could There Be the Perception of Cliques in Your Community?

In many 1980s high school movies, there’s an elite group of self-appointed “popular kids”. That clique is hard to get into but easy to get thrown out of. Members of the group wield power with cutting remarks and meanness. As adults, we want nothing to do with anything like that.

Talking to members, I’m always surprised by how many say there are cliques in their association, and that often the board is the clique-est. 

Confronted with this news, the people inside those organizations are always surprised, shocked, and horrified by this perception. They don’t think there is an insider group at all. 

So what’s happening here? 

My theory is that it has everything to do with first impressions. Board members or groups of longtime members are friends. When they meet, they spend time catching up, which means that they are not welcoming and might even have their backs turned to new members.

New members see little groups, talking, and laughing together. At the same time, they are feeling the awkwardness of being a first-timer AND ignored. In a split second, they feel the same feelings they felt in high school, which must mean this group has a clique, and that is NOT good. Alerts fire off in their brains, and all they want to do is flee fast!

Now that we know where the feeling comes from, how do we change the perception? 

One trade association client I worked with decided that the board would get together 30 minutes before monthly meetings for friend time. The moment the doors opened to everyone else, they broke apart and focused on welcoming. Other groups station a group of welcomers at registration to greet people as they walk in, especially first-timers and early-birds. Sometimes organizations pair new members with a buddy.  

How can you stop the perception of cliquishness before it even happens for new members joining your community?