Deep Meaningful Conversations with Strangers

Seven years ago, I hopped on a plane to fly to a conference to give a breakout session presentation. A super bubbly woman sat down next to me and immediately began chatting. She was absolutely lovely, and soon we were talking about our families and trips, then not too long afterward, our hopes and dreams. I said things to her that I never told anyone. Like someday, I just about whispered, I wanted to be a keynote speaker, which, at the time, seemed like an incredible stretch wish. (Funny how times change.)

“Connecting with strangers can be easier than with loved ones,” says Marta Brzosko on her Connection Hub blog. This remarkable woman and I didn’t exchange names, yet we made a special connection I still remember.

Not only can “connecting with strangers be easier than with loved ones,” but connecting with strangers can also be easier than with teammates. We cannot say many things to our peers, subordinates, and managers. But strangers in our industry or profession are like gold because they have similar experiences and are usually much safer confidants.

Strangers can:

• Cheer us along.

• Offer advice we might not want to hear.

• Support us by listening to our failings and weird interactions.

Strangers can have our backs in a way that peers, subordinates, and managers won’t.

Associations are great because they bring together strangers. For strangers to feel free to cheered, listened to, and advised, we (the association's hosts, organizers, speakers, leaders, and managers) must nudge these connections and behaviors.

In my research, 477 members from different associations expressed their profound displeasure with networking events. Providing a room with drinks and snacks is the first step in helping strangers connect, and they want us to take many more steps, like helping make these connections. Meaningful connections can happen in person as well as online. Opening a Zoom room is the first step, the baseline, if you will, and there are many more strategies we can employ to help attendees make meaningful connections.

The next few posts will be all about helping strangers connect. In the meantime, how can you help your members, who are strangers, have meaningful conversations?