Making mistakes okay is another key to engagement! (This sentence sounds a little weird, but keep reading, and I’ll explain.😉)

Last week, an email from a big brand popped into my inbox. It greeted me with, “Hello [first name],” and got worse from there, including this string of nonsensical letters, “kajldaju…” Someone accidentally hit send on a draft email, and hundreds of thousands or millions saw a big old mistake. My heart immediately went out to the marketing staffer who did it. I suspect they thought their life was ending. They probably felt ill and ashamed as they told their manager and team what happened. How do I know this? Well, because I make mistakes all the time. Most of us do.

At my son’s eighth-grade graduation, his teacher told us how the class adopted a student-conceived practice of drawing hearts over mistakes when correcting each other’s work. The teacher said, “I love how they allow, embrace, and are okay with each other’s mistakes because it’s the only way to be in a community.”

Have you ever seen a community pounce on someone for making a mistake?

Perhaps a community member starts a post by asking something like, “I’d like to [insert goal here], and so I tried [insert tactic here], but it didn’t work. What have you tried?” Before you know it, a bunch of responses say something to the effect of, “Well, everyone knows that [the tactic you tried] doesn’t work. What you should have done instead was…” The meaning for the original asker is: boy, are you silly!

Did the responders mean to shame the asker? Nope. Probably not. But they did. The problem with shaming someone who made a mistake is they go quiet. They might never interact within your community again, and one more great mind full of knowledge and insights is lost for everyone else. And everyone else in the community who sees the shaming goes quiet too.

If you have seen this in your community, you can start creating a culture where mistakes are okay (maybe even celebrated.)

Here are some ways for you to interrupt the usual responses to start making mistakes okay in your community:

• Express gratitude for their share. “Thanks for sharing your experience! I know many people in this community have tried the same tactic. I’m curious to hear what else that tried that eventually worked for them.”

• Normalize mistakes. “You are in good company because whether we want to admit it or not, many of us have made mistakes! @All, what have been some of your goofs?

• Reframe the mistake. “We are big fans of tiny tests here in this community. Many tiny tests don’t work, but try enough, and something will. Hey everyone, let’s help out with some more tiny test ideas.”

• Acknowledge how hard it is to share a mistake; assure them that this behavior is rare but helpful. “You are super brave for sharing your mistake with us and I know many people are learning from your experience. Thank you!

In a healthy community, people can admit their mistakes and get support, ideas, and helpful nudges to keep moving forward. Proactivly make mistakes okay to keep mistake-shame from surfacing.