Helping Outsiders Become Insiders

“Pffffttt!,” he said, and I knew exactly what he meant.

My husband and I were on a road trip across the American West from Wyoming to New Mexico. To help pass the miles, we listened to Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck (a great road trip book).

In the book, Mr. Steinbeck was also traveling cross-country with his dog, Charley. Charley seemed to have quite a personality and did a good job of communicating with his human. The dog would say, “Pfffttt!” when he had to go pee.

Well, the two of us picked up that little nugget and alerted each other that it was time to stop and find a potty with a little, “Pffftt!” of our own.

Groups tend to invent language, acronyms, stories, and inside jokes. These can serve as shortcuts. Or signal insiderness. Or it can just be fun.

Sometimes groups invent ways to heal an infraction. In the TV series The Bear, the head chef Carmey rubs his chest with his fist to say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t listen, but I’ll try to do better next time.” Other chefs on the team picked up the action.

Language, stories, and actions are great when they bring the community together. And they are not great when they divide the insiders from the outsiders.

What can you do to instill a community-wide habit so long-timers share the inside scoop with newcomers?