How Do You Engage Introverts?

It is true. Most introverts would rather scrub mildew out of their grout than attend something billed as a “networking event.” But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to meet new people, have meaningful conversations, or collaborate to find new ideas because they do.

In this episode of ‘Ask Amanda’, Lauren asked: How would you approach engagement with a very introverted membership?

Do you have a very introverted membership? Or maybe, like the general population, there are some introverts in your membership, and perhaps you’ve found them more challenging to engage. So, how do you engage introverts? Well, I am here to tell you not with receptions!

During my interviews with members, I heard so many stories about the lengths people, introverts and ambiverts alike, will go to avoid receptions. I heard stories of people prioritizing exercising during that time (i.e., they went out for a run even though they were not runners.) I listened to stories of people feeling guilty about not being at the reception as they were snuggled up in their hotel room—with this running loop going through their minds, “Should I go? Nah, I don’t want to go. But I really should go. But I hate these things!” I heard stories of people making it to the door of the reception, just inside the door, or to the bar to do an about-face and blast out of the room.

Okay, so traditional networking events don’t engage introverts. But there are a lot of ways to help them feel comfortable, get them to connect with others, and provide them with a great experience.

Help Introverts Feel Comfortable

A long time ago, I attended an event where the facilitator was so skillful she had us all participating before we even had a chance to be nervous. When I started speaking professionally, I reverse-engineered how she did what she did.

1) She welcomed early birds. Early birds are the first people in the room. Early birds are often, but not always, introverts. They get to the session room early while extroverts are still yakking in the hall. They get to Zoom meetings early, and you see their name in the waiting room. They like to get the lay of the land. My host arrived at the venue super early to get all set up so she could warmly welcome and chit-chat with all of us early birds.

2) She started with an icebreaker. A quick question any one of us could easily answer. I don’t remember her exact question, but I remember the feeling of seeing the question—an immediate spark of pleasant surprise. I felt compelled to answer it.

3) She used progressive participation. Her first questions required concise, easy answers. Those early questions got us in the habit of participating. During the event, she asked ever more thought-provoking questions that required more and more effort. If those later questions were asked first, they would have scared us off.

Help Introverts Connect

Introverts do want to meet new people, have meaningful conversations, and collaborate to solve problems. They will shy away from events as unstructured as a reception, so we can help them by giving them some structure, like putting them to work. Work offers excellent ways to connect.

There’s a reason why some of your best friends are your co-workers, fellow board members, and other people you shared volunteer duties with. We connect with the people we work with. We are aligned around the same goals. Some of my best friends became friends while we were metaphorically working shoulder to shoulder, sweating through a project.

Help introverts connect with others while working on a project, problem, or goal that is meaningful to them. This could be through volunteer opportunities or problem-solving collaborative events.

A few last thoughts about helping introverts connect: keep working teams small, small, small—3 people, if you can. Allow time for reflection and possible asynchronous collaboration between events. Prepare all attendees for the topic and perhaps ask some prompting questions a day or two in advance so introverts can come prepared.

I’ve got some extra good news for you! It turns out all of these strategies that engage introverts will work with ambiverts and extroverts as well!