What People Really Remember

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

This was the quote I had planned for the epitaph for the opening chapter of my new book, Elevating Engagement—it was perfect because it captured the ethos of the chapter exactly. However, my editor encouraged me not to use it because while the statement is often attributed to Maya Angelou, its origin is somewhat murky. (I can’t even begin to tell you how bummed out I was about that!)

I hear people use this quote all of the time. And I think it sticks in our minds because our gut tells us it is true. Our guts are right! (Hmmmm, that was a weird sentence to type.) I found the meaning of this quote to be true in my research, too.

While talking with those 477 members, they often told me stories. Not stories about the value they received from their association, even when I asked them what the value of the association was. No, the stories were about experiences they had. Stories of experiences that were emotional. Emotional enough that they could recall the details five, ten,  or twenty years later.

No one remembers exactly what the text was in the welcome letter they received, but they do remember the warmth. People don’t usually remember exactly what was said to them at the registration table, but they do remember the vibe. People don’t remember the emcee’s exact opening words, but they do remember the excitement.

How does your organization make people feel? Or maybe a better question is, how do you want to make people feel?